She’s really cute. She has these big brown eyes that look up at you with that “I’m adorable and you should love me a lot” look. She’s small and round and energetic and thrilled to see you every time you go anywhere near her. She sleeps the majority of the time. She even sleeps through the night in a little metal crate I can’t believe she finds comfortable. She’s only gone to the bathroom in the house a handful of times, most of which were probably my fault because I was too busy doing what I wanted to do instead of grabbing the leash and running for the backyard. She’s soft and fluffy and she learned to fetch in about two minutes. She rolls over so you can rub her belly after a nap. She doesn’t know her tail is attached to her body, which makes for quite a funny game of chase. Her fur is a beautiful caramel color and she has these silly white paws. She’s hypoallergenic and non-shedding. She likes peanut butter . . . a lot. She likes to chew . . . everything. Her name is Macie and she’s really cute.





She’s also driving me absolutely crazy.



My friends offered all kinds of positive encouragement when I told them my husband and I planned to surprise our kids with a puppy for Christmas. I know most of them were rather shocked that their Type A friend with a hint of obsessive-compulsive disorder running through her veins was going to allow an animal to inhabit her home, but they didn’t do anything to squelch the idea. They told me I could definitely do it. They told me I would love having a pet. They told me it would be loads of fun. They said it would be a great learning experience for our entire family.



What in the world were they thinking?



Macie has been with us for five weeks now and honestly, I’m thinking if I was going to put our family through this kind of insanity, I should have just had another baby. Seriously friends, it’s one thing to become a slave to a miracle created out of love between you and your husband after drinking too much red wine. It’s an entirely different beast to become a slave to a ridiculously expensive ball of fur that will never learn to talk, use a toilet, or wipe her feet before coming through the front door. If you think I’m being dramatic, I have three words for you . . . get a puppy. A puppy is easily as much work as a newborn, and remember, puppies don’t wear diapers. So not only do you have to clean up poop, you have to clean it off the brand new linen tree skirt your mother made you for your anniversary.



If I’d had a baby, I would be able to stay inside when it’s forty degrees, windy, and raining sideways. I could spend my days snuggled up on the couch with a ten-pound gift from God attached to my chest making adorable little sucking noises and reminding me to treasure every precious minute of life. Instead, I’m spending all my time freezing in the woods behind my house waiting for a ten-pound canine walking in circles trying to decide exactly which patch of the earth is the best spot for her to leave her mark.



If I’d gone ahead and had a third child, I would be receiving lovely gifts in the mail every other day – smocked outfits and tiny onesies and beautiful picture frames. With a new puppy, all I’m receiving are outrageous bills from the vet, who’s had more one-on-one time with me in the last month than my husband.



A newborn would have given me a reprieve from the busyness of life, the power to say “no,” if you will. People stop expecting you to fill your plate with social events and activities and duties when you’ve just had a new baby. You can turn down the many requests for help and volunteering and baked goods for a few relaxing months after you’ve given birth. But a puppy? Please, pile on the requests people. I don’t have anything going on. I can’t leave the house for more than two hours and when I am home, I’m interrupted every fifteen minutes to take a dog outside to sniff every blade of grass in the backyard, but no worries. I have plenty of free time on my hands. What can I do for you?



Babies smell wonderful. Puppies smell like . . . small dogs.



Babies don’t have teeth. Puppies have lots of teeth . . . sharp ones. And they like to use them.



When you put a baby down, she stays in one spot. When you put a puppy down, she runs right to your favorite rug and begins chewing it to bits.



After you give a baby a bath, you get to wrap him up in a warm towel and bury your head in the silky folds of his neck. After you give a puppy a bath, you need a raincoat.



Oh, and did I mention not a single person has offered to bring me dinner.



Okay, you’re right. I am being a tad dramatic. I’m not experiencing sleep deprivation, my nipples aren’t sore, and I don’t have an ice pack in my underwear. But after a month with Macie, I do believe there is something called post-puppy depression. And folks, I’ve got it.



I should probably make a confession here. The truth is . . . I wanted a puppy. Or at least, I wanted my children to have a puppy. I’ve never had a dog. I’m not a dog person - I believe we established that in a previous post. Still, I wanted my children to experience life with a pet. I don’t want them to grow up to be like me – I want them to smile when they see a dog on the street, not turn around and walk the other way. I felt a puppy would serve to bring even more love into our home. I thought she would be another special family member to cherish. I hoped she would make our daughter stop asking me when I’m going to have another baby. I even had the notion that a puppy might be a good form of daily “let it go” therapy for my OCD issues. Hey, statistics show pet owners lead happier, healthier, longer lives – I’m all for happiness, health, and longevity. And of course, like all naïve mothers out there, I also believed a pet would help teach my children to be more responsible.



“It will be good for Charlie and Libby to see what it’s like to care for another living creature.”



Yes, I actually said that. Out loud.



What in the world was I thinking?



I’m fairly certain I don’t need medication for my post-puppy depression. I did see a sign last week in front of a strip mall that said “Puppy adoptions today!” and immediately wondered if anyone would notice if I slipped Macie in one of the cages with the other poor, sad, homeless, orphan dogs. I think someone would adopt her right away. Remember, she’s really cute. Unfortunately, we paid to have that microchip thing inserted underneath our puppy’s skin so we would never lose her. Not so sure that was our best move.



I’ve had numerous inquiries into our puppy adventure over the past few weeks. Everyone is eager to know how things are going with our new addition. My response is the same almost every time.



“It’s a big adjustment, but I know it will be fine.”



Despite many moments of buyer’s remorse, I do believe it’s going to be fine. I feel confident that pet ownership will get easier and our family will begin to find the blessings in it. Macie won’t always be a puppy. One day, she will be an adult dog who doesn’t need four bathroom breaks every hour. One day, she will be able to roam the house with our complete trust in her ability not to damage anything. One day, she will lie at our feet without trying to eat our toes. One day, she will not think of the leash as her worst enemy. And one day, my kitchen will return to its usual state of order and cleanliness and lose the chew toys and baby gates causing my recent heart palpitations.





For now, however, we have a puppy. She’s challenging. She’s exasperating. She’s prompted several “WHO DO WE KNOW WHO WANTS THIS DOG BECAUSE I CAN’T DO THIS FOR ONE MORE SECOND!” phone calls to my husband. She’s even been the cause of one near nervous breakdown when said husband informed me that Cavachons typically live fifteen to eighteen years. Eighteen years. Eighteen years? Are you telling me I’ll be taking this dog out in the rain and the cold and the Atlanta humidity in late August for the next two decades of my life?





Oh. My. Word.





But . . . it will be fine. I know it will be fine. We will adjust and one day soon, we will all be fine. Until then, we will remain optimistic, continue praying for patience, and stay focused on Macie’s positives, or at least the one positive I can find . . . the fact that despite her willingness to look me in the face and squat on my kitchen floor less than thirty seconds after I took her outside, she really is cute.

I'm not a dog person. I know, I know. Some of you are vowing to ignore me forever because I must be a terrible human being. I get it. You're dog people. If you're running down the sidewalk and see a neighbor with a dog coming towards you, I'm sure you squat right down and rub that pooch behind his ears. You tickle him under his chin as you ask your neighbor the dog's name, age, breed, and favorite type of bone. If I'm running down the sidewalk and see a neighbor with a dog coming towards me, I cross the street.

I blame it on my parents. My brother and I requested a dog for every birthday and Christmas throughout our childhoods to no avail. I don't know why my parents were against our family owning a dog. My father had a boxer named King when he was growing up. My Granny used to tell the story of how King let her know her youngest son, my uncle John, had fallen off his bicycle in the street by jumping up in front of the kitchen window and barking his head off until my grandmother finally looked outside. I find that rather impressive. My mother grew up on a tobacco farm in rural North Carolina. We visited my grandparents there several times a year and almost every time we did, there was a litter of puppies frolicking in the backyard. My brother and I would inevitably become attached to the cutest one and beg our mom to let us take him home. She never caved.

We had a couple of goldfish for a while. They didn't smell so great. We even had a parakeet named Joey. We chose Joey because the teenager at the pet store told us male parakeets make wonderful pets. He claimed male parakeets like people, enjoy being held, and even have the capability of learning to speak. I spent hours recording myself saying phrases like, "Hello, how are you," over and over on a blank tape in the hopes that Joey would begin saying such phrases himself. Unfortunately, we had to return Joey to the pet store after only a few weeks of ownership. He hated us. He pecked and bit and flew around his cage as though desperate to escape. He also made more noise than any animal on the face of the earth. Turns out the teenager who sold Joey to our family suffered from gender confusion. Joey was actually a Joanna.

About a year ago, my in-laws purchased a puppy. Her name is Lucy and she's a Cavachon, which is a cross between a Bichon Frise and a King Charles Cavalier. I suppose that means she can bark in French AND in English. We used to call dogs like Lucy mutts. Now we call them boutique or specialty breeds. Don't you love how humans do that? We can make anything sound special.

Lucy was a cute puppy, I admit. Yet you must remember, I'm not a dog person, so I didn't fall in love with her at first sight. Recently, however, my in-laws have been traveling and our family has become the dog sitter. Surprisingly, Lucy has grown on me. In fact, I'm starting to like her a lot. Lucy has quite a personality, when she isn't sleeping. Actually, her extensive sleep schedule might be one of the reasons I like her so much. She keeps me company, but doesn't demand much of me. She simply wants to be in the same room I'm in while she takes one of her many naps. Sometimes, I wish the other inhabitants of my home were so effortless.

When my in-laws purchased Lucy, they hired a canine expert to come to their home and teach them how to train her. The expert suggested Lucy be kept on a leash at all times. This was meant to help her get used to the leash while also teaching her she would not have full reign in my in-laws home. Lucy is over a year old now and the only time she does not have a leash around her neck is when she goes to sleep in her crate each night.

Recently, while dog sitting, I decided to take Lucy's leash off while we were hanging out with the kids in the basement. I thought she would enjoy running around unhindered. Within seconds of its removal, Lucy picked up the leash in her mouth and dropped it in front of me. She looked down at the leash and back up at me, down at the leash and back up at me. Then she barked, which is rare, and tried to push the leash towards me with her noes, which didn't exactly work but certainly got the point across, regardless of the fact that I'm no dog whisperer. I hooked the leash back onto Lucy's collar and off she went, happy as could be. I grinned, instantly reminded of a toddler dragging a dingy, frayed baby blanket behind him wherever he goes.

We all have our leashes, I guess. We have things in life that bring us comfort; things we don't want to live without, and we hold to those things tightly. Freedom can ignite fear and when we are afraid, we look to the steady, reliable things in our lives to provide assurance.

My husband is a comfort to me. When he walks in the door after being at work all day, I feel my shoulders instantly relax as I take in the pleasant fact that my reinforcement has arrived. I find it comforting that my partner in crime has appeared to help me take care of all those things that need to be cared for - the children, the laundry, the evening meal.

Control is comforting to me as well. When my home and my life and my family are in order, I feel a sense of calm. That peace simply doesn't exist if I haven't cleaned my toilets in a few days or it's after 8:00 pm and my children have not been fed, bathed, and tucked into bed.

In 1 Corinthians 1, it says, "Blessed be the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in trouble, with the comfort which we ourselve are comforted by God."

Whoa. That's a whole lot of comfort in there. Comfort from God . . . for us . . . to give to others.

I want to find comfort in God. When I'm scared and can't seem to find stable ground, I want to believe the One who created me can also comfort me. I want to look to Him to soothe my anxieties, because He is the only one who knows my heart and can provide exactly what I need.

I often wear a necklace with a cross charm on it. It looks good with just about everything so I slip it on over my head many mornings as I rush off to complete my daily to-do list. "Cute necklace," someone will say at the grocery store or in carpool or in the check-out line at Nordstrom. "Thank you. My friend gave this to me when I finished graduate school." I twist the charm in my fingers as the casual exchange of words ends; an exchange I probably won't remember minutes later.

But . . . what if I realized the potential in such an exchange? What if I responded differently? What if I took the opportunity to make the exchange a meaningful one? Maybe even a memorable one?


"Thank you. This charm gives me comfort because it helps me remember where peace comes from.

Hey, I didn't say I've done this people. Trust me, there isn't a bit of evangelical in this chick. But what if I did? What if I reached out with the comfort so freely lavished upon me and offered it to someone who crosses my path. Someone God might have placed in my path for a specific reason. Someone who might need comfort more than I do.

I'm going to start paying a little more attention to the cross charm hanging around my neck. I'm going to think of it in the way Lucy thinks of the leash around her neck - as a symbol of safety and security. As a necessary reminder that comfort is available to me whenever I want it, as long as I look for it in the right place. And maybe, if the opportunity presents itself and I'm feeling my inner Billy Graham, maybe I'll take a chance and offer that comfort, God's everlasting comfort, to someone else. Because who doesn't need a little more comfort in their life? Everyone needs a little more comfort now and then.

Even dog people.