8 Days and, Yes, This Mom is Absolutely Counting

I’m pretty sure I write some version of this same post every year about this time.  In June, I’m all “Summer is the best thing in the world and it’s sooooo great to have my kids around all the time and I just loooovvvee relaxing in our pj’s together every morning and not having to deal with homework and carpool and All The School Things.”

And the next thing I know, it’s August, and we all know what happens in August.

Mama reaches the end of her rope. 

I love my children.  I sooooo looooovvvee my children.  I really truly promise I love my children.

I just don’t love them quite as much in August. 

You see, when I say I’ve reached the end of my rope, I don’t mean I have a secure two-hand hold with a few inches to spare people.  I’m hanging on by my fingernails to a very thin thread here.  I’m so close to the end of the rope that when I was prepping lemon chicken at 4:00 this afternoon for us to have for dinner, I took a long hard look at the bottle of white wine I was using to make the sauce before I put it back in the fridge.  A very long, very hard look, and those of you who know me well know I don’t partake in a whole lot of wine.  I never partake at 4:00 on a Tuesday afternoon.  Today, however, I seriously considered it, because it’s August.  My fingernails are killing me and I can’t hold on much longer.

Just last week, I was lamenting over the end of summer, wondering why we couldn’t just have another few days to relax in the sun.  It was July then.  Much closer to June. 

Today, all I can think is why in the world does summer have to be so long?

We’ve done the pool thing.  A lot.  We’ve done the vacation thing.  It was awesome, but it was a long time ago.  When we all still liked each other.  We’ve had play dates and sleepovers and mornings in our pj’s and far too much time watching movies and playing on the Ipad and making forts in the basement.  We’ve stayed up too late and gone out to dinner too often and had popsicles on the deck. We’ve eaten plenty of watermelon and played enough board games and used up every ounce of sunscreen we own.

It’s.Time.For.School.To.Start.

I know this because today, during lunch, my eleven and a half year-old (who has always liked to follow rules and rarely done anything all that bad) threw a piece of hard-boiled egg at his sister because she touched his Rubix cube.

Yep.  You read that right.  He THREW a piece of EGG at his SISTER.

Well heck yea he did. I mean, come on.  She touched his Rubix cube.  AND IT’S AUGUST!!!!!!!!

I actually handled it outwardly better than my inward desires would have suggested.  Inwardly, I saw an enormous food fight going on in my kitchen.  And I’m not talking about a fun, banana cream pie in the face kinda food fight.  I’m talking mama slinging all kinds of nasty things right at ‘em.  Inwardly, I wanted to chuck a handful of minced garlic at his face.

Instead, I mustered up the kindest mama voice I had in me, and I said, ever so sweetly, “Clearly you have had just about enough of summer, and it’s time for you to return to school where throwing egg at your sister is not an option.  In the meantime, put on your golf clothes, because I’m dropping you off at the driving range and I’m leaving you there until I decide to come get you!” 

And that’s how I know it’s time for school to start. Because my son threw food at the kitchen table, and I, the parent holding on by her fingernails, could come up with only one way to handle it, and that way involved . . . a golf course?

Hopefully, Charlie’s teachers will have had enough time away from kids to remember the meaning of the word ‘consequence’, because I’m working so hard to cling to this rope that I’ve lost my maternal edge. There’s no fight left in me, my friends.  It’s August, and this mama is officially done with summer.

Thankfully, summer is over next Thursday.  PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW!

Until then . . . there’s always that bottle of wine in the fridge.  

School's Out For Summer!!!

Well, after weeks of anticipation, we have finally started summer in these parts.  Last Friday was the final school day for my oldest, and he didn’t have to be there until 10:45.  Our first official morning without having to worry about uniforms, breakfast, and carpool started off with a bang.  And by bang, I mean, I’ll be banging my head against the wall by the middle of June.  The kids woke up just before eight.  By nine-thirty, I had sent them both to their rooms for fighting. 

Sometimes . . . summer sucks.

They’re getting along famously this week, what with Libby at sleep away camp and all.  Yes, we left our eight year old in the woods for a week.  Please pray for us, and more importantly, for Libby’s counselors. 

The nights are the hardest.  It just doesn’t feel right to have only one chick safely in the nest when the sun starts to fall.  Oh, I know our daughter is fine – the child couldn’t wait for us to leave her alone with her camp mates in cabin number one.  She permitted us only enough time to put sheets on her top bunk, and then she was all, “You can go now.  It’s okay if you go.  It’s time for you to go.  LEAVE NOW!!!”

We got the hint.  Surprisingly, I didn’t even cry as we drove away.  Not sure if it was because this was the second time I’d left a chick behind, or because we were leaving our second chick, and she’s radically different from the first?

Either way, the house is very quiet without her. 

Sometimes . . . summer rocks.

So I went to this technology seminar a few months back, and ever since then I’ve been meaning to blow your minds.  I apologize for taking so long to do this, but I’ve got at least two dozen of these ridiculous ramblings started at all times, yet rarely seem to finish one.   Anyway, I figure summer is a great time to talk technology.   In fact, it might be the perfect time, because less than 2 hours before we were leaving to deliver our child to camp, I had to talk myself out of saying something to said child that I really wanted to say, and that was, “It would be great if you could refrain from telling me what you’re doing on the Ipad and asking me to look at what you’re doing on the Ipad because the reason I gave you the Ipad was SO YOU WOULD STOP TALKING TO ME!

I may or may not need a vacation.

The truth is I’ve used technology for all the wrong reasons.  I’ve used it to read mindless gossip about movie stars.  I’ve used it to look at pictures of houses I’ll never be able to afford.  I’ve used it to communicate with people when I should have been communicating in person.  And I’ve definitely used it to entertain my children when I didn’t want to participate in entertaining them.

Now, since I know my poor use of technology on a regular basis doesn’t blow your minds, allow me to do it with the following information instead:

• It took the radio 38 years to reach a market audience of 50 million people.  It took the television 13 years.  It took the internet 4 years, the Ipod 3 years, and it took Facebook only 2 years to reach 50 million people.
• More video was uploaded to YouTube in the last 2 months than if ABC, NBC, and CBS had been airing new content 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year SINCE 1948.
• YouTube receives about 2 billion views Every. Single. Day.
• The number of text messages sent and received each day exceeds the Earth’s population.
• The average teenager in America sends and receives over 3,300 texts a month.
• There are over 100 billion searches on Google each month.
• The computer power on your Iphone is significantly greater than the computer that was on Apollo 11 – the shuttle that took man to the moon.                                                                    

Is your brain exploding?  Yep.  Me too.

Change is a necessary part of life, but technology is advancing at an unprecedented rate.  We can’t possibly keep up.  Not as citizens, not as employees, and certainly not as parents. 

I realize technology has some amazing benefits.  It’s fast, helpful, and convenient, and let’s face it, I’m not about to give up my phone, my computer, or my ability to hand my child an Ipad in exchange for half an hour of silence.  But as my children get older and technology becomes an increasing part of their lives, I’m realizing my role as their mother has a whole new set of parameters to navigate.

I know, I know, you had to walk three miles to school, uphill, in the snow and you had to feed a family of five during the depression and you had to suffer twelve-hour car rides with three young children and only a few fuzzy radio stations. 

But y’all . . . we . . . we have to protect our children from technology.  I’m sorry for your misery, but the snow and the depression and the car rides are all just trumped.  Honestly, have you heard of Snapchat - the app that claims you can send a picture to another person for only a few seconds and then it will magically “disappear forever.”  Seriously?  What kind of sexting maniac invented that crap, and why can’t I get my hands on him to explain that all he’s done is made the toughest job in the world that much tougher?

There can’t be a more difficult task than parenting in this age of technology, and yet, the wonderful man who led the seminar I recently attended said something I’ll never forget.  He said, “The issue isn’t the technology, it’s the parenting.”

I don’t necessarily want him to be right, but I know he is.

The technology isn’t going anywhere.  In fact, if anything, it is infiltrating every aspect of our lives.  I must accept the fact that it is my responsibility to shepherd my children in ways that encourage them to use technology positively. 

Is there evil online?  Absolutely.  We are fallen people – our sinful nature means we can take every beautiful thing God creates and twist it into ugliness.  Is technology making us more impersonal in our relationships?  Of course it is.  Does the overuse of television, video games, computers and cell phones mean we are more easily distracted, less productive, and addicted to immediate satisfaction?  Yes, yes, and yes. 

I’m afraid that last yes might be the worst one of all.

As a follower of Christ, I’m trying to teach my children the concept of delayed gratification.  Jesus hasn’t returned yet, after all, and while faith reminds me that my citizenship is in heaven, I still have to live in the world – the very tangible, visual world, where things are often immediate and the concept of waiting doesn’t get nearly as much practice as it used to.  I want my children to become independent thinkers who make healthy, moral decisions.  I want them to learn to discipline themselves so they can become trustworthy adults.  Achieving these goals will require me to use the challenges of parenting as opportunities, and be intentional in what I model to my children.  It will also mean I have to give up some control, even when technology is concerned.

The world and its technology are changing so rapidly.  It truly is mind blowing.  It scares me and frustrates me and overwhelms me and excites me.  This week, I will have moments of gratitude for technology, because it means I can send email bunk notes to Libby each day she’s at camp.   It means I can look at pictures of my daughter online when my heart aches to see her face.  This week, I will have moments of hatred for technology, because my phone will take a perfectly normal, frequently used word I spelled slightly wrong because the letters are too darn small and turn it into a word I've never heard of in my life, and I will not notice it until AFTER I press send.  

My hope, however, is that amidst the gratitude and the hatred, I will remember the truth.  Yes, change is as inevitable as it is difficult.  And technology is different every day.  But my Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.  If I trust in Him with all my heart, and lean not on my own understanding, but submit to Him, He will make my paths straight.  He will help me make the right decisions for my children.  And he will forgive me when summer gets to be so long and loud, that I hand them an Ipad instead.