Romans 13:8 Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
Dogs are the most interesting little creatures. Macie has been with our family for almost
five months now and honestly, it’s been the longest five months of my life. Nothing can compare to adjusting to life with
a puppy. Many people say having a puppy
is similar to having a newborn, and while that makes sense from a poop cleaning
perspective, I must say, after five months of poop cleaning with my newborns, I
was still madly in love with them. After
five months with Macie, I’m pretty sure dog people have a gene not present in a
single cell of my body.
Still, in the hopes of modeling an attitude of persistence to
our children, we’re keeping Macie, much to my chagrin when she shows up at the
back door with mud covering her entire face AND three quarters of each leg. It turns out our puppy likes to dig.
Aren’t you jealous?
The funny thing is . . . I’m receiving an education from our
little Macie. She hasn’t cured my OCD
yet, even though that was one of the reasons I agreed to get her. (Leave it to me to count on an animal with a
brain the size of a walnut to work through all my issues and make me normal.) Still, I am learning quite a lot from our
Christmas puppy. She has become somewhat
of a teacher in our home, going about each day imparting little lessons on life. I guess she got that whole teaching thing
from me, huh? The desire to educate and
a love of sitting directly on the vent when hot air is blowing out. Too bad she didn’t inherit my dislike for
dirt too.
Yes. Our Macie, the pooping,
digging, dirt-loving puppy who literally makes me want to turn back time and
make a totally different decision that would involve an aquarium instead of a
leash, is providing me with a great deal of insight into the humans in my
life.
This might sound a little crazy, but hey, if you’ve read
anything I’ve written in the last few years, you know crazy is par for the
course. So all insanity pushed aside, I
happen to believe Macie knows a bit about self-esteem.
I know, I know. Dogs
don’t watch their weight and color their hair and consider paying hundreds of
dollars for rat poison to be injected into their face. They don’t compare themselves to others and
search all over town for the perfect outfit for that big night out and wear a
pair of heels that pinch their paws into oblivion just because they happen to
be the perfect shade of taupe. They don’t
even know how to use a mirror, or a scale for that matter. Dogs can’t possibly know anything about self-esteem.
Yet . . . I beg to differ.
Maybe it’s because she’s my
dog. Maybe it’s because I know a thing or two (or twenty
million) about self-esteem. Maybe it’s because I watch my weight and color my
hair and am currently considering paying hundreds of dollars for rat poison to
be injected into my face . . . again.
Maybe it’s because I compare myself to others and hunt for the perfect
outfit and own several pair of shoes that are worthy of being called torture
devices.
Or maybe. . . it just might be . . . I mean it’s possible .
. . yea, okay, I suppose Macie might know a little something about self-esteem
because hers was destroyed when I looked deep in her eyes and told her she
sucks.
Yes. I really did
that. I know you dog people hate my guts
right now and plan to report me to the Animal Rights Coalition first thing in
the morning, but when your puppy whines at the door to go out for the
one-hundredth time in an hour and you know she does NOT need to go potty, you
really do think she sucks. And
sometimes, your fuse is just short enough to tell her so.
The vet gave me a rather interesting piece of advice during
one of our many expensive puppy check-ups not long ago. I was telling the good
doctor that Macie wouldn’t go up and down stairs by herself, and that she
absolutely hated to leave our yard to go for walks. I thought it was cute. I thought it was because she was so little
and inexperienced and because she didn’t like wearing a collar. The vet responded by telling me I should be sure
to pet Macie from her nose to her tail.
She said mama dogs show affection to their puppies by providing them
with touches all over their bodies, and that it would help build confidence in
our puppy if we rubbed the entire length of her body on a regular basis.
Honestly, I laughed like someone watching the top ten
funniest Saturday Night Live skits of all time when she said it. Not out loud, of course. Out loud I said, while nodding my head in
vigorous understanding, “Wow, that’s really amazing. I’ll be sure to do that.” But inside, I was laughing. I was throwing my head back, clutching my
stomach, gasping for breath by snorting air through my nose laughing.
And then I went home.
And I lived my life for a few days.
And I was a mama to my own two little puppies. And I realized . . . the vet was serious, and
it was no laughing matter.
People are just like puppies. We need to be loved completely. We need to be
loved from head to toe.
I can’t love only the intelligent, obedient, respectful
parts of my son and neglect to love the rest of him. I have to love ALL of him. I can’t love only the helpful, caring,
thoughtful parts of my daughter and neglect to love the parts I would change if
given the chance. I have to love ALL of
her. When my husband is bald and
wrinkled and has hair growing out of his ears, I have to love his shiny head,
aging skin, and furry body. I have to
love ALL of him. Every single bit. From head to toe. I have to love the people in my life completely.
Sometimes, it’s hard.
Sometimes, I see things in the people I love that, for a time at least,
make them seem a little less lovable. I
see selfishness and pride and greed and the inability to pick up a towel from the
bathroom floor and take it to the laundry room where it belongs. I want to tell them, “I love you, but . . .”
I love you, but I would appreciate it if you would follow
directions the first time I ask.
I love you, but I need you to take the trash out on time and
help me with the laundry.
I love you, but I don’t want you to use that tone of voice
when you’re speaking to me.
What am I telling the most important people in my life if
every time I declare my love for them, I finish the statement with something I’d
like them to do differently? What
message are they hearing if I claim I love them, but only if they are willing
to change, to do things my way?
If I truly want to follow the example of unconditional love
God demonstrates for us every single day, I have to share my love for the
people in my life when they are at their most unlovable. When Charlie is cranky and irritable and I’m
so frustrated with his ingratitude that I want to send him to Africa to see
what it’s really like to know sorrow, I need to take him by the hands, look him
in the eyes and say . . . Oh, my son, oh how I love you. When Libby is sassy and emotional and I’m so
angry at her impatience that I want to send her to boarding school for eternity,
I need to wrap her in my arms, squeeze her tight and say . . . Oh, sweet girl,
oh how I love you. When my husband is
messy and forgetful and I’m contemplating the idea of tossing his golf clubs into
a very deep lake, I need to press my forehead to his, run my fingers through
his hair and say . . . I can’t possibly describe how much I love you.
Because the thing about unconditional love is that there can’t
be a ‘but.’ There can only be . . . I
love you. Period. End of story.
Forever. Always. No matter what.
I. Love. You.
Jesus didn’t say, “I love you, but you’re a sinner.” Jesus said, “I love you because you’re a sinner.”
Jesus said, “Not only do I love you, I love you so much I’m willing to die
so that your sins will be forgiven.” Jesus walked on the earth for less than
four decades, but the central theme of his life, the core of his message to all
mankind, can be wrapped up in three simple words.
I love you.
He did. He does. He will never stop.
There are no ‘buts.’
I rub Macie from her nose to her tail many times a day now,
and she is no longer afraid to go up and down the stairs or to leave our
yard. In fact, I might have taken the
vet’s advice a bit too far, because I’ll be darned if that monster, I mean puppy,
didn’t decide last week that she was going to squeeze right through the bars of
the outrageously expensive wrought iron fence we bought just for her. Let’s just say the “you suck” comment was nothing
compared to what I said to her after that escapade.
I’m trying to love the people in my life from head to toe as
well. It’s not always easy. Unfortunately, Jesus and I have very little
in common at this point. But I want to follow him. I want his life to guide mine. I want to use his example as the driving
force in all of my words and actions. And if I’m going to follow Jesus, I have to
love like he loves. I have to love without
any ‘buts.’
I have to love . . . completely.
