The differences between men and women astound me.  I just listened to my husband have a cell phone conversation with a friend of his from The University of Kansas.  They hadn’t spoken in years, but recently reconnected because of the Facebook of the business world, i.e. Linked In, the classy way to spy on people you used to know or wish you did.  Of course, I could only hear one end of the conversation, but this is what it sounded like to me:

Adam:  “Hey, what’s up?”

Friend:  Something about the Kansas game that was on the previous night.

Adam:  “You’re out of your mind.”

Friend:  Something else about the Kansas game from the previous night.

Adam:  “That might be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say”

Friend:  Something about the picture Adam posted of himself on Linked In.

Adam:  “Please.  That picture was taken less than a month ago.  You’re just jealous because you’re old, fat, and bald and I look better now than I did in college.”

Friend:  Something to repute the extremely rude comments my husband just made about his attractiveness.

Adam:  (laughing) “Yea right.  Okay.  Yep.  Talk to you later, man.”

And that was it, folks.  Forty-five seconds and that was the entire conversation between two men who used to consume massive amounts of beer and pizza together, but who had fallen out of touch because of jobs, wives, kids, and the fourteen hundred miles separating them. 

Now, let’s replay a conversation you might hear between two women who have been out of touch for a few years.

Female number one: (in a very high pitched voice filled with immeasurable levels of enthusiasm) “Oh honey, it’s soooo good to hear from you.  I can’t believe it’s been so long since we last spoke.  I have missed you SO much.  I saw you on Facebook and you look absolutely amazing.  Seriously, you haven’t aged a bit and I love your new hairstyle.  Too cute.  And your kids . . . wow.  They are gooorrrrgeous.  They look exactly like you.   So, how are you?  Tell me EVERYTHING that’s been going on in your life.”

Female number two:  (in an equally high pitched and enthusiastic voice) “Girl, I’m so excited to talk to you.  It really has been too long.  I feel terrible we haven’t kept in touch after all the fun we used to have together.  You were suuuuuuuch a good friend to me and I think of you all the time.  I saw you on Facebook too and you look incredible.  Are you working out five times a day or something?  Seriously, you look better than ever.  Oh my goodness, I have so much to tell you but the suspense is killing me.  I just can’t wait to hear everything you’ve been up to, so you go first.  Fill me in on the last two years of your life.”

And an hour later, the conversation shows no sign of ending.

Could men and women be any more different?